


Was It a Decision to Stay

by Catchinglikekerosene



Series: Stories for Songs [2]
Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:56:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25381969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catchinglikekerosene/pseuds/Catchinglikekerosene
Summary: Chapters were request based off the songs "Thick and Thin" by LANY, "Ordinary People" by John Legend and "Stuck With U" by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Stories for Songs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838125
Kudos: 10





	1. Was It

It took them so long to finally get to a place of mutual understanding.  _ Far _ too long for them to finally submit to their feelings for one another. 

One notable spring evening, Ethan and Becca were heading to the Boston Opera House. Ethan had given them both an early shift so they can enjoy a relaxing evening together accompanied by soothing arias. They hadn’t been back in this box together since intern year. Since he kissed her back and immediately brushed it off as nothing. 

They had a lovely time - holding hands in silence, letting the melodies of the orchestra lift their spirits. Becca rested her head on his shoulder when she wasn’t on the edge of her seat in anticipation. Ethan watching her reactions intently - he had seen this opera on multiple occasions and could recite it verbatim. A smile graced his features as he watched her, his mind absentmindedly strolling down memory lane. 

The subtle glances. The hand holds. Miami. The kiss. The hearing. Saving Naveen. The first time. Their last time. The Amazon… 

_ Look how far we’ve come,  _ he thought. 

On the drive back to his apartment Ethan was still so deep in nostalgia. Although this time he voiced his sentimentality out loud.

***

Late night three days later Becca was in Ethan’s apartment, hovering at the threshold. She kept her jacket on, making the conscious decision to not make herself at home. This wasn’t the night she would let herself push all of her concerns aside and unapologetically fall back into Ethan Ramsey’s addictive embrace once again. 

Ethan watched with a trained eye as his girlfriend paced back and forth. Becca tried to think of what to say. She knew the words, she’d been replaying and reciting them for days now but for some reason none of them felt right on her tongue. 

The other day in the car Ethan brought up his trip to the Amazon - the ultimate betrayal in Becca’s eyes. She could have handled a casual affair between them, hell she’s had plenty of those, but what hurt the most were the promises he made long before he disappeared. He told her they were going to work it out. They were going to figure this out. Together. They were straight lies off of Ethan’s lips. Becca forgave him once in blind infatuation. She was so caught up in her attraction for him that she forgot how continuously he shattered her heart in those early months. Now that she had him freely, she could see past her rose tinted glasses for the pain that came with this man. 

> _ “That wasn’t courage. It was cowardice,” he explained once again. They’d had this conversation briefly ages ago but he never finished telling her exactly why he needed to flee. “I realized I fell in love with you and needed to clear my head before we began working closely together.”  _
> 
> _ Staring out the passenger window her eyes went wide, “What?”  _
> 
> _ Becca was already irked by the feelings that surfaced at the mention of his abandonment. A ball started to form in her throat as his words sank in.  _
> 
> _ Ethan never ever said that four letter word to her face before.  _
> 
> _ Under normal circumstances, with normal couples, that small yet powerful word was meant to warm the insides and elicit an overwhelming sense of euphoria. Instead, Becca’s chest tightened.  _
> 
> _ “I couldn’t be in love with you,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “We needed a reset.”  _
> 
> _ “You… loved me?”  _
> 
> _ “Yes.” Ethan's smile grew bigger as he added, “I  _ love _ you.”  _
> 
> _ Becca felt like she was going to vomit.  _

She looked everywhere but at Ethan as the words began to manifest. It had taken all of her courage to come here and ask the things that were plaguing her mind since last summer. 

“You realized you loved me and… left?” It was phrased as an uncertain question but she meant it as a statement. “Not tell me how you felt?” 

Ethan’s brows furrowed at her question. It was the first thing she said upon entering his apartment and her noticeable distance was concerning him. “You know I couldn’t feel that way. It was unethical.” 

“We’re unethical now, Ethan, and the world hasn’t collapsed,” she retorted. 

With a rueful sigh he confessed, “I was wrong.” 

“Yeah… you were,” she trailed off. She let her eyes glance upwards towards him. Ethan was staring at her, blue eyes storm ridden and full of worry, the creases in his features were more than evident and showing his age. “Were you ever going to tell me?” she just about whispered. 

Ethan took a step towards her, “I didn’t think I needed to.” Instinctively Becca stepped backwards, the door handle mere inches away from her lower back. Earnestly he said, “I thought my actions spoke louder than my words ever could.” 

She knew he was referring to all the truths and secrets they’ve shared, all the hand holding and caresses - the way he seems to put her future before all else - the way he  _ loved  _ her. But the only things coming to the foreground were him pushing her away, leaving, letting himself have her just to then cast her aside like a mistake. 

She stood up straighter, letting the newfound rage building in her core fuel her. “Was it really love if you could leave me for something so small? We slept together and you bolted, Ethan.” 

Ethan took a deep breath in. This was not the evening he had planned for them - they were supposed to have a romantic evening in. But instead they were sparring, and Ethan desperately wanted to wave the white flag in surrender. 

“It doesn’t excuse my actions,” his eyes fell to the floor in guilt as he spoke. “All I can say is I’m sorry for wasting all that time. I’m sorry for hurting you.” 

Becca crossed her arms over her chest at the line she’s heard countless times and bit, “Have you ever had a one night stand before?” 

“Have you?” Ethan retaliated. He regretted the words immediately. He knew he didn’t need to be defensive, he didn’t  _ want  _ to be defensive. He just wanted to have a nice evening with the love of his life, but for some reason she wasn’t happy anymore. 

“Don’t you dare slut shame me!” She moved closer and slapped his arm. “If you didn’t want to be anything more you should have just told me from the start.” Ethan saw how her doe brown eyes turned to black within an instant. He fucked up. Becca continued to poke him in the chest, “Instead of leaving me when I needed you most -” another poke, “every fucking time things get hard you leave.” 

With her finger digging firmly into his torso, Ethan asked, “Where is this coming from?” 

Becca threw her hands up in the air like it was the most obvious conclusion, “I don’t trust you!” 

“Huh?” 

“I don’t trust you not to leave again. I don’t trust you not to break my heart. I don’t trust myself for falling further into you and the next time I might not be able to pull myself back out of the depths.” Becca was breathing heavily now, the spilling of all those emotional words taking its toll. 

“Rookie…” his eyes were a mix of saddened concern and pleas. 

Eloquently with the muster of a thousand suns she added, “We’re not going to work long-term.”

And with that Becca turned on her heels to leave. 

Ethan caught her elbow mid-spin. 

“Do not walk away, Lao.” he used his authoritative voice, knowing full well it would temporarily distract her from her task. “We can fix whatever this is - we’re partners through everything, right?” 

She didn’t respond. 

“Right?” he practically begged. 

Becca kept silent, her eyes fixated on the silver doorknob. 

“Dammit, Rebecca!” he exclaimed through gritted teeth and glazed eyes. “Tell me how to make things better.” 

She shook her head one single time, “You can’t.” 

She pulled her arm forcefully away and walked out the door. 

Left in utter bafflement, Ethan’s hand flew to his hair, pulling at the roots. 

“What the hell just happened?” he asked the universe. 

He wanted to go after her. He needed to go after her and ask her not to hold the sins of his past against him. But he knew Becca better than most and chasing her down would only lead to a bigger argument. 

_ She couldn’t cut things off so easily. _

She couldn’t stop loving him because of a past mistake. Right? 

They had been through too much the last two years for this to be the end. She was there with him every step of the way - she was his rock. His sanity in dark times. She was his best friend and his savior in every blatant and biblical aspect of the words. 

What did he do for her in return? 

Ethan went over to his bar cart in desperate need of something strong. That’s when he saw it. The small black box sitting next to the decanter. 

Tonight was supposed to be the night. 

Was he foolish for misreading their whole relationship? Was he crazy for wanting a future with the young resident? 

The irony was not lost on him. 

With great force Ethan hurled the small box at the front door. Leaving a small dent in the metal plating. 


	2. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request for "Ordinary People" by John Legend.

Becca didn’t go to work for her next three shifts, taking personal time and swapping clinic hours with her roommates for next week. She just couldn’t bring herself to set foot into the hospital, not yet anyway. Instead, she sat in her room wallowing in her decision. 

_ It was the right thing to do _ , she convinced herself. 

There was so much heartbreak that came with loving Ethan Ramsey -  _ too _ much heartbreak for one lifetime. Becca was deftly afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle the next blow - the next time her little slice of heaven was struck down to another circle of hell. 

Ethan Ramsey was a man that could never settle down. His career and ethics, along with everything he’s ever told her, made that perfectly clear. It was better for her to end this before he left her high and dry once again. What even would a life be with an emotionally unavailable attending? 

Her thoughts reeled, over and over again trying to find salvation in her decision. 

Was she really in love with Ethan or was it a continued stage of infatuation for Dr. Ramsey, her medical hero? When did their honeymoon stage end, and when was she left with this sinking feeling of no return in the pit of her stomach? 

Her mind replayed all of the moments where they had the privilege of just being Ethan and Becca - just people, not colleagues. All those sweet hours they spent as friends and lovers. All those wonderful moments that gave her a false sense of futuristic hope. 

They both had a lot of room for growth. Ethan had a decade longer to prepare himself - to focus on his career and get ready for love and the long term commitment that comes with it. But Becca’s still only 27. She has a bright career ahead of her - something Ethan has always been trying to protect. And although she’d never admit it, she was thankful for it. He gave her everything she could possibly need so she can achieve her dreams. What if they were both mistaken? What if, deep down, her dreams all led to a path with a family - a few little feet running around the grassy backyard by the bay she’d save up for. Something Ethan was adamant he could never settle down for, no matter how much he would like to want to. It was another reason to go. 

For her own sanity Becca needed to walk away.

She spent her whole life waiting for a love as great as Ethan. She never thought it was possible to be so completely obsessed and content in the arms of one person. How one person's presence could soothe all the current issues she’d be facing. She kept trying to convince herself she’d find a better match - someone with Ethan’s wit and intellect, his attractive features and banter. Someone who’s fingers fit just a bit better between her own and wanted the same dream as she. 

In those days she wanted to call him and take everything back. But this wasn’t a movie. There was no fairytale ending, against her better judgment she knew that. Becca was confused and didn’t know what to do - about her heart or about work. How was she meant to work closely every single day for the next few years with the man whose heart she just broke? 

_ God this hurts.  _

_ Is love supposed to hurt this much?  _

Ethan Ramsey was considered a god among doctors and aspiring medical professionals. His quick intellect and curt tendencies were admired much to his disapproval. The Ethan Ramsey did not believe in idolatry, especially among physicians. Ethan was just an ordinary person, sitting at his desk completely gobsmacked. 

The event from the other night is still very much ingrained in his brain. He’d played those last few days over and over again, dissecting every little detail for any sign of dissatisfaction. Maybe if he could pin-point the moment her mind changed he’d be able to salvage their relationship. He  _ needed  _ to salvage their relationship for his own sanity. 

They didn’t argue. They never really argued. Sure they had spats and quarrels but never over anything larger than life. They left as quickly as they started, with one of them admitting their wrong - usually Ethan. How was he meant to apologize if he didn’t know what he did to offend her so deeply? 

Ethan sat at his desk a few streets away from the woman of his dreams and so unsure of what to do. His gut feeling was to flee - to accept a position elsewhere and let her have Edenbrook. These days Edenbrook needed Dr. Lao more than him. He has done all he could and it’s her turn to shine. But Naveen, he couldn’t leave Naveen. And deep down he knew Edenbrook was his home, more so than any other physical location has ever been.  _ Aside from Rebecca. Rebecca has always been home. _

What was Ethan supposed to do about their professional relationship now? He spent so long dreading the implications of having a relationship that he never thought to think about what would become if it had ended. 

With a heavy heart and a sigh, he pulled the small rectangular black box out of his desk drawer, turning it over in his hands. 

_ Where did I go wrong? _

He always has and always will put Dr. Rebecca Lao first. So where does that leave Ethan now? 

It was so quiet in the Diagnostics office between the still air and Ethan’s deprecating internal monologue that they didn’t notice one another. Becca gingerly entered the office, not noticing him sitting at the desk and Ethan still too transfixed by the box in his hand. 

As if on cue, their cheeks naturally began to flush with heat before lifting their heads to let their eyes meet. Dark surprised brown meeting with deeply conflicted blue. 

“I’m sorry,” they said in breathless unison. 

Becca quickly added, “I didn’t think you’d be here. It’s your day off.” She stood up taller, mustering up all the courage she had left, and let the glass door slip from her fingers and close behind her. 

Ethan tried to tear his eyes away from her but was frozen in place. He didn’t anticipate seeing her, not until he solved the case of her misery. Words fell off his tongue in an indifferent response, “A lot of work to do, I’ve been down a team member.” 

She stood there awkwardly, wringing her fingers. 

“Can I help you with anything?” he added when she didn’t advance. 

“I was just coming to grab the new case file. Hirata said it was on your desk.” 

He grabbed the lonely file from the edge of his desk and stood, carefully making his way over to her. Becca met him halfway, hesitantly. She held her hand out to snatch the hefty document but he pulled it up, using his height to keep it out of reach. 

“Can we talk?” 

“I don-” 

He cut her off, “What happened?” A bated pause. Becca bit her lip, anticipating his next words. They were the words she herself couldn’t fully comprehend. “Why did you leave?” 

“Ethan… don’t,” she warned, crossing her arms over her chest. The file now a distant memory. Ethan was within range she could feel the warmth radiating off of him even if he was three feet away. His gravitational pull was and will always be so strong. 

Ethan’s bloodshot eyes bore her down, “Tell me. You owe me an explanation.” 

Her eyes were fixated on the Hopkins Diploma on the wall behind him. “I told you,” she shrugged. “I can’t trust you not to break my heart - not again.” 

He took in the feisty woman before him. Her scrubs hung off her body and the ever-present purple bags under her eyes certainly matched his own. Her large brown eyes were showing the after effects of days of tears. Ethan reached out for her with his free hand. He hated seeing her like this. 

His hand ghosted her own. “Come back to me, Rookie,” he implored in the softest voice one would never have imagined came from the stern doctor. “We’ll make this work.” 

She let his hand linger before pulling hers back tightly close to her body. 

Becca watched as Ethan’s face fell. Any ounce of form he wanted to keep completely vanishing. Sadness coated his features and Ethan Ramsey never looked more human. It pained her to see him so vulnerable, though not enough to abandon her decision. 

“I’ve heard that one before…” Becca muttered. 

“I promise. I’ll do better.” 

With a long sigh of the air she did know she was holding in since he tried to take her hand she told him curtly, “I’ve given you so many chances, E. You keep pushing me away and I can’t keep crawling back.” Finally her eyes met with his once more. “I deserve better.” 

Without a moment's hesitation he agreed, “I know. You deserve so much more than me but…” He dropped the file to the floor with a  _ thump  _ and a scatter. His hands needed to be on her, to make her understand. But he couldn’t just grab her that would be wrong, he needed her permission. Instead he balled his fists as tightly as possible. “But you can’t help who you love.” 

There those words were again. That four letter word she had waited so long to hear but he’d never vocalized in the right of circumstances. “And, as I’ve learned, though love sometimes hurts, I still and will always put you first.” His feet carried him towards her on their own volition. Ethan made his decision then and there; if Becca couldn’t take him back then Edenbrook wasn’t big enough for the both of them. “You can shine brighter if I step down.” 

“Step down?” Becca’s jaw dropped. “What’re you talking about?” 

A sad, ghostly smirk appeared on his supple lips, “It’s going to take some time to get over you. I’ll consult somewhere else for a while.” 

There he was, leaving again. His selfish selflessness would be the death of her. But this time she didn't feel sad or abandoned, Becca felt empowered. She knew. 

“Stay,” she told him. “We can work together.” 

He wanted to ask her to clarify, but she continued on. 

“What’s that?” she looked over him to the black box sitting on his desk. 

“It’s nothing.” 

Becca raised an eyebrow, “Doesn’t look like nothing.” 

Ethan had no idea which way to go - if he withheld he just might always regret never asking her, if he told her he didn’t think he’d be able to handle the rejection of a second chance. 

He didn’t get the chance to ask. In true Becca fashion she went ahead and opened the box anyway. Her fingers brushed over the silver, trying to accept if this was a fantasy she conjured in a sleep-deprived state or the reality she had been manifesting for months. In fact it was a declaration straight from heaven - her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, anxiety setting in. She made a terrible miscalculation. 

“Is this…?” 

He nodded. 

“We both made mistakes.” He crossed the distance between them, their bodies only inches from one another and Becca’s back pressed into his desk. “I love you. More than scientifically possible.” he declared and a crack of smile broke through their hesitant expressions. Ethan removed the small bit of shiny silver out of it’s makeshift container still held tightly in her hands, holding it delicately between his fingers Ethan asked, 

“Move in with me?” 

Becca’s eyes glowed, every doubt she ever had seemingly vanished all over again. 

“Yes.”


	3. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan and Becca have a lot to figure out. Just because she agreed to move in with him doesn’t mean she will or that their problems have magically vanished. 
> 
> Request: "Got all this time on my hands, might as well cancel our plans, i could stay here forever" - stuck with you by justin bieber and ariana g

Just because Becca accepted his cohabitation proposal doesn’t mean all their problems will simply vanish. 

Ethan Ramsey was never one to stick around - he never believed in love or running a mutually beneficial relationship past it’s course. Becca knew from the start he wasn’t going to be one to settle down and have that picket fenced family she’d always dreamed of. That didn’t stop her from wanting it and wishing he would change his mind as their relationship blossomed. She accepted their dissolution when she left that faithless evening, but three days later those piercing blue eyes brought her back in and locked the door behind them. 

Against all the reasons to go, she stayed. 

In his office when he handed her the key to their forever, Ethan had her thinking she was crazy for leaving in the first place. And maybe a part of her knew she was. She stepped into his office that day for the sake of their working relationship and no intention of reigniting their flame. When she opened that odd black velvet box and laid eyes on that shiny silver key with an engraved teal blue heart, she forgave him without another thought; his glittering, hopeless eyes were oh-so easy to forgive. 

Rebecca Lao was moving into Ethan Ramsey’s bachelor pad. Even with the small disappointments every step of the way he never really let her down when it mattered. 

_ He  _ always _ does what’s best for me.  _

She moved most of her things into Ethan’s two bedroom luxury condo. The little detrimental voices in the back of her mind made sure to keep a fail-safe. Becca didn’t tell him she was holding onto her room until the end of contract in case things went south between them once more. If there ever was a day she needed a break she had four open arms waiting for her, and Ethan would be none the wiser. The distinguished diagnostician wasn’t asking her to share the bills, he was asking to share all facets of his life with her. And that at least made the charade easier. 

The first few weeks were going well. 

Then work got in the way. 

The couple fought like hell in the middle of his large glass office once all the other members of the team had left for the day. They tried to keep a modicum of civility but he yelled, she screamed, they both said things they shouldn’t have and she stormed off to her place without another word. Becca hadn’t gone back to the apartment they shared in Back Bay for two nights. 

_ This was a mistake _ , she thought. 

She should have known moving in together wouldn’t solve their problems. It was a bandage on the dam ready to burst open. This was it. This argument was the last straw. Ethan shattered any sort of illusion she had with a few poorly chosen words. He opened the door to his heart but left Becca waiting in the foyer. 

_ What was there to love about Ethan Ramsey?  _

She ran over all the reasons to leave him behind again, and again and again: the vexatious fights, never growing family, work always coming first... But the good crept up on her - The looks, the reassuring talks, snuggling as they researched cases late into the evenings, the way he simultaneously calmed every muscle in her body and set every one of her nerves ablaze. All that she felt for the prudent man - loving him, hating him, wanting him - were all tangled together like a ball of twine. She couldn’t have the sweet moments without all the complications. 

She couldn’t have Ethan without utter heartbreak. 

Standing out front of the swanky apartment complex she let out a languid sigh. She left him. She got to be the one to run away, again. Now here she was. As if she was a puppy on a leash, no matter how far she ran she’d always be brought back to him. She was tied to Ethan Ramsey in more ways than one could fathom. 

_ I’m stuck with him…  _

Becca wandered into his apartment mid-morning to grab a couple of things before heading to brunch with Bryce and Kyra. She didn’t expect Ethan to be home.

Ethan sat on his couch slouched over a few files, trying and failing to absorb its contents. He was still occupying the spot he’d found himself in when he realized Becca never returned home yesterday morning. Their fight was ingrained in his mind - he regretted every word falling spitefully out of his gob. How could he have called her a liability? She didn’t deserve his tirade. 

Though, he thought she was smart enough to separate demanding Dr. Ramsey from her Ethan. 

_ It was a mistake _ , he kept telling himself, as if that small prayer would admonish it all. 

Their professional relationship had seeped into their personal lives and the implications were all that Ethan feared from the start. It was disastrous. A promise of doing better - putting her first - all thrown away with a few hollow insults. 

Becca tried to shuffle in as quietly as possible but Ethan was astute. His head whipped around as soon as her keys scraped against the lock. His heart raced a bit quicker and the pit in his stomach eased knowing she’s home and safe. With the longest  _ click  _ of the door, Becca creeped into the naturally lit threshold on the tips of her sneaker-clad toes. Ethan watched with bated breaths and she closed the heavy wooden door behind her, he didn’t dare move. Her actions were speaking volumes. She rested her forehead against the door, briefly letting out a sigh. Becca was turning on her heels to continue her stealth mission until... 

Their eyes met. 

Becca jumped in surprise and a wave of guilt washed over her for letting them get this far. 

Ethan’s somber blues implored her. This time she didn’t look like a crying wreck with blood shot eyes, deep purple bags and loose fitting clothes. Becca was wearing high-waisted shorts with a grey t-shirt and white mary-jane sneakers, all subtly accentuating her womanly figure. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a tight bun, makeup expertly placed and her expression indifferent. She didn’t have any more tears to shed for their tumultuous relationship. 

His stare bore into her, keeping her in place at the threshold. She fidgeted with the keyring between her fingers. He wasn’t supposed to be here. This was supposed to be a quick in and out with a few necessities. They weren’t supposed to have this conversation yet. She had  _ nothing _ prepared. 

Ethan sat there expectantly; his posture squared, waiting for her to make the first move. 

She bit the inside of her lip. Becca needed to say  _ something  _ to break the tension and make this iniquitous return less awkward.

“Why aren’t you at work?” 

Without breaking eye-contact he recited, “I took some time off.” 

She folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at the piles of documents surrounding him, “Yet you’re still working.” 

He motioned around them. “ **Got all this time on my hands** , might as well finish off some files.” 

“Right.” Becca shoved the keys deep into her back pocket and began taking a few leery steps forward. “I’m just gunna…” she trailed, pointing down the hall and fleeing to the bedroom. 

She disappeared so quickly Ethan had to blink a few times to digest their first interaction in days. It was nothing and yet her body language said everything. He chucked his files from his lap and carelessly onto the glass coffee table. He mimicked her swift and discreet footsteps all the way to their bedroom. 

Becca was quickly pulling clothes off hangers and discarding them into a bright pink gym bag as Ethan stood at the doorway with folded arms. 

“I don’t want to fight anymore. Please can we put this behind us,” he sighed. 

Becca knew he’d follow and demand an explanation, she just wasn’t ready for that. In truth, his angered words still stung deep to her core - he brought up things from her past which she thought they moved on from. How can you trust someone if they’re going to hold your past mistakes against you? 

“Can you?” she spat. 

“Rookie…” 

Becca refused to look at him. If she looked over at the doorway she’d see that his arms hung at his sides, his rigid shoulders sunk and his ocean eyes were the darkest shade she’d ever seen. 

“Go ahead, Ethan, call me immature and reckless and clueless again. Do it,” she spitefully challenged as she knelt down to shove the articles down into the small pocket.

“I didn’t mean it. You know that.” He began walking into the room. 

“Doesn’t mean you can still say it! You don’t realize how your words affect people.” 

Ethan made it halfway to her before the words stung him to a halt. His ears flushed red, the vein in his neck leapt to attention and the crease between his brows appeared, his blood started to boil much like it did the other night. “Your actions got us into this mess! Don’t you realize that? You need to take better care -” his fingers fatefully found the bridge of his nose. “Did you learn  _ nothing  _ from the Martinez case!?” 

“How  _ dare  _ you.” Her head whirled around to give him the most menacing gaze she could muster for a few lengthy seconds. With a huff, Becca zipped up the packed bag and got to her feet. 

“Where’re you going?” 

She brushed past him, “To my place.” 

“Your place? This  _ is _ your place.” 

“I still have my apartment.” 

“Wh- Why?” He thought she was just crashing with friends, not that she actually kept her bedroom in a five person flatshare. Ethan couldn’t understand what that room had that he couldn’t easily provide. Not to mention there was more space here with him and she’d be saving money - what more did she need besides her own bathroom and someone to share the king-sized bed? 

“For this exact reason.” Becca was just on the other side of the bedroom doorway when the next words spilled vehemently off her tongue, “Maybe you were right. We’re not compatible, Ethan.” 

Her foot lifted to take another step. Ethan lunged to grab the back of her arm, forcing her to turn back to him. It was an impetuous move. This time he wasn’t being selfish or selfless. He was a man standing in front of a woman asking her to stay. 

He spun her around with all his might. They were just two footfalls away from one another. His calloused hand holding onto the flesh of her forearm for dear life. Becca kept her eyes trained on the floor, she  _ could not _ acknowledge him. 

Ethan’s deep baritone voice was beseeching, “You may  drive me insane but I wouldn’t change a damn thing.” 

Becca squeezed her eyes shut as Ethan’s words jostled her. In the faintest of whispers she exhaled, “I’m losing my mind, Ethan.” 

There in front of him was the woman he was meant to care for above all else. His best friend. His confidant. His destiny. Yet how did he regard her? Like an emotional yo-yo - pushing and pulling until there was no energy left to bring her back. 

His voice was soft and shameful, “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry isn’t enough anymore.” 

Delicately, Ethan’s free hand lifted her chin so he could view every telling feature on her expressive face. Her eyes were still closed showing creases in her gold eyeshadow and her matte nude lips pursed together. The foundation hid her freckles and he couldn’t tell if the pink on her cheeks was real or artificial blush. 

“I shouldn’t have said those things, I know.” He caressed the length of her cheek with the soft skin of the back of his fingers. 

He felt Becca tense under his hold. “This isn’t about that,” she shook her head just once. 

Ethan became statuesque in his shocked state. His fingers stayed at her jaw, his supple lips slightly agape and his grip on her unwavering. 

_ This is it. _ This is the conversation she didn’t want to have. How is she supposed to tell him?

Her face contorted; biting back the tears, biting her lip, and biding time before she gave the final blow. 

“It’s everything.” She choked out “You can’t give me what I want.” Her doleful orbs finally fluttered open. 

No amount of manifesting could change Ethan’s mind; he’s a stubborn mule set in his single-boxed ways. No amount of hope could bring her the peace she knew Ethan was incapable of giving. 

His fingers twitched against her, his eyes never breaking their fixed stare. “How do you know?” he asked firmly and incredulously “You’re young, there’s still tim-” 

“What’s next for us?” Becca blurted out, meeting his eyes. Her steely glare sent a nervous chill down his spine.

“I -“

“Marriage?” She questioned.

His mouth still hung open, no words or sounds escaping, giving Becca all the confirmation she needed. 

“Kids?” she continued her cross-examination. 

Silence. 

Becca let out a light, afflicted chuckle, “Exactly…”

She wiggled free from his grip and moved away from his disconcerted form, her back just shy from pressing against the hallway wall. 

“Becca-” Ethan grasped her hand mid-stride, keeping her in front of him. “We’re in this together - it’s just you and me. There is nothing I would rather do than give you the world.” 

His hands flew to her cheeks, forcing her to look at him as he crouched down to her level this time. Brown met blue, both pleading. 

“Whether you like it or not, Rebecca, you’re stuck with me. I  _ refuse _ to lose you.” He knew what it felt like to have her walk out on him once and he was not going to be foolish enough for it to happen again. His heart trembled as his veins carried all of his regret, anguish, and a sliver of hope as he uttered the next words; “Please...stay with me.” 

His breath was warm on her skin. His words were intoxicating. Becca’s eyes flit shut at contact. 

“I…” She trailed. “I have plans.”

“Cancel them.” He replied definitively. 

Becca was about to say something, but he stopped her protest with the touch of his desperate lips to hers. 

Ethan moved his heady kisses from her lips, peppering them along her cheeks in a way he knew kept her from thinking straight, and his right hand found its rightful place massaging the muscle below her waist. “I love you,” he said as if those three words could absolve all their woes. His lips were just a hair away from her ear, begging, “Please let me make things better.”

And for tonight she let him mend their open wounds. 

Becca let him ravish her skin with his debilitating kisses. Every touch and desperate caress helped her forget every fear she ever had for them, all patched up with his warmth. Her bag fell to the floor. His left hand tangled itself in her hair, holding her sturdy by the back of her head. She became clouded in wonted lust. 

_ This... _

Her arms frozen at her side - logic told her to leave.  _ This was over _ . 

Her body and spirit kept her in place, accepting of all he was willing to give. 

Ethan’s lower hand burrowed under her shirt, hardened fingers danced over her skin before finding home at the small of her back. The tip of each finger cherished the little dimples at the base of her spine as Ethan’s tongue grazed her teeth asking entrance. Without a fraction of a thought she obliged. 

Was she kissing him back? Or was she just letting him put her out of her misery? 

Habitually, a few of her fingers traveled to knot his hair while the others went to leave a gauging bruise on his bicep as he nibbled her neck. 

“Ethan…” she barely breathed with sanctity. 

He pulled away just enough to take her in. His clouded, partially bloodshot orbs met her glassy dark brown. Both were about to fall apart at any moment. 

“I love you.” A single tear escaped her. 

Ethan kissed it away. 

She tilted her head to nudge him with her nose, beckoning his lips back to hers. They met and she knew. She knew she was kissing him back as if he was the sustaining oxygen her lungs craved - she had no life without Ethan. He was her everything and she his. They just needed to find the balance. 

They tore one another's clothes off there in the dimly lit hallway, discarding them without care. Their kiss was slow and wet, savoring. Tongues gliding. Hands roaming over their favorite spots. Ethan trailed his hands down her bare back in tandem, settling just below the curve of her bum. His lips followed the path down her front and Becca’s head lolled back against the cool wall. Just when she thought he’d touch her where she needed him most, he leaned to wrap his arms around her thighs, lifting her up to meet his height. A slight smirk graced Becca’s lips as she began leaving a trail of carnal pecks up and down his jawline before nipping on that sweet spot at his ear. 

Ethan let out a guttural moan. 

Their hearts rapidly beat in time as he carried them to the lonesome bed. He placed his love down with the utmost of care, climbing on top of her not long after. Their bodies found and appreciated each other once again; Trying to console and solve their problems with every move of devotion. 

***

Becca lay across Ethan’s bare chest post-rapture, her index finger keeping time with each beat of his heavy heart. He rubbed soothing nonsensical patterns along her clammy back. She was back in this bed -  _ their _ bed, full of his love while his mind was consumed by her. The way she was hanging onto him gave Ethan foresight. He needed to do better. Two decades of piety to his craft was nothing compared to the dedication and adoration he held for the woman beside him. It was time to be a better man. 

With the midday sun shining through the open windows, he cut through their silence. “ **Might as well cancel our plans** for this weekend.” 

Becca rotated to look up at him with furrowed brows. Her makeup was smeared and Ethan could finally see every crease and freckle of her expression; her natural beauty is what made her the most exquisite woman he had ever laid eyes on. 

_“_ **I could stay here forever, _”_** he continued in his delicate tone as he tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear, “Though Martha’s Vineyard is meant to be nice this time of year.” 

She leaned up to place a tender kiss to his cheek. “We got all that we need right here.” 

All the fights. All the uncertainty. All of it didn’t matter once she was cuddled in his impervious embrace. She would throw away everything just to stay in this feeling of infinite bliss a little longer. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: utterlyinevitable


End file.
